Dino's Guide to
Ultima VII
The Black Gate

Celebrating 23 Years

Fun - The Leaking Avatar

Upon arriving at Britannia, the Avatar was faced with the gruesome murder of the Trinsic blacksmith, Christopher. When he entered the stables to see the body, he was faced with such a gory scene that he started leaking.

Avatar: *gasp* "Oh my God..."
Avatar: *gasp* "Oh my God..."

Following the incredible fright at the Trinsic stables, the Avatar couldn't stop leaking. He proceeded to consult the local doctor, whom he begged for help after filling his house with urine. However, the doctor died of disgust before he could help the Avatar, as did the other patients in the house.

Avatar: "You bet!"
Avatar: "You bet!"

Desperate for help, the Avatar sought to leave Trinsic in search of help outside its walls. The mayor quickly gave him the password to leave Trinsic on the condition that he would not go near him or his house, so the Avatar approached the north gates of Trinsic and asked the guards to raise the portcullis. The guards did so quickly to get rid of him, but were killed by the poisonous smell before the Avatar left.

He made his way to Paws, where he asked the miller where to find the healer. The miller thought well of staying away from the Avatar, and ran into the other room, identifying his leakage as "blood". The Champion of Virtue followed the miller, who jumped out of the window and swam away to save himself.

Miller: "Better the sharks than to die poisoned!"
Miller: "Better the sharks than to die poisoned!"

The Avatar headed to Cove, in the hopes of finding a healer. He thought of asking Lord British as a last resort, because he did not want to be seen in that state by the king, and did not want him to die because of his leakage. Once in Cove, he heard that Jaana dwelt there, and remembered her to be a good healer. Before visiting her, he went by the Shrine of Compassion to learn from its wisdom how to make people show compassion and help him. Over there was a beautiful girl, with whom he fell in love. However, his leaking problem was still present and she died as well.

Avatar: "Not in front of -her-!"
Avatar: "Not in front of -her-!"

Exhausted, the Avatar ran to Castle British in the hopes of ending this massacre once and for all. Jaana would surely have died as well if he approached her, while Lord British was known for his invincibility. On the way back, he passed by Lock Lake and noticed how polluted it had become since his last visit. As if the present pollution wasn't enough, his leakage made it even worse.

Avatar: "Let's add some toxic waste to this pollution."
Avatar: "Let's add some toxic waste to this pollution."

Wherever the Avatar passed, dead bodies piled behind him. Not even the strong guards and mighty gargoyle inside Castle British could survive. Lord British, however, was strong enough to overcome the deadly perils of the Avatar's leakage. However, he was not in the mood to aid him... Lord British scolded the Avatar, explaining that he ruined the planet and that not even the Guardian would want it as it is.

Lord British: "NOT IN MY CASTLE!"

The Avatar was now shattered. What could he do to stop this disaster? "Hmmm... perhaps if I prove to be useful, Lord British may help me," he wondered. So he set off to finish the quest against the Guardian. Sailing to Buccaneer's Den, he asked for access to the killers' hideout, and was granted whatever he wanted while the population promptly escaped the island by ship, swimming, or even suicide.

Next, he went to the Isle of the Avatar and made his way to the Black Gate. The killers, who were all present there, died instantly, while Batlin teleported away in order to remain alive to serve the Guardian. As the mighty hero approached the beams that guarded the Black Gate, the beams themselves ran away in terror. The Guardian began his entrance through the Black Gate, but upon noticing the Avatar leaking in front of him, he withdrew and destroyed the Black Gate to remain safe.

The Guardian: "Stop the Avatar! I will come through the Black Gate now. Do not let him near! ...or he'll wee on me!"
The Guardian: "Stop the Avatar! I will come through the Black Gate now. Do not let him near! ...or he'll wee on me!"

Finally victorious, the Avatar rushed back to Lord British and requested a cure. The king told him to just find a nice tree and water it. So the Avatar obeyed, and ran northeast. There, he found an "X" marked on the floor, and knew that this was the place. The Guardian started laughing like an idiot as the Avatar's pants exploded and flooded the forest. At last, he stopped leaking and was relieved of this burden.

The Guardian: "I am the Pagan lord... thank God I'm not the Britannian lord!"
The Guardian: "I am the Pagan lord... thank God I'm not the Britannian lord!"

Here is how to do it:

© by Daniel D'Agostino 2002-2025